Beauty in the Beast

In the past during this conversation with you, remarks have been made about ‘personal appearances’. I am not referring to actors and actresses making ‘personal appearances’ at film premiers or people who think that they are more important than anyone else opening supermarkets and issuing edicts to us lesser mortals.

Perhaps some people are more important than others but this is, of necessity, only a temporary period during which they occupy positions of power over us minions—and, no, I am not despicable.

[This last comment was designed to show that I am familiar with the current status of the entertainment industry.]

The matter to which I refer is how people ‘look’, how they appear to others and, possibly, themselves.

I must confess to being superbly handsome. In fact, a colleague of mine, called Mohammad Sukry who lives in the North East of Malaysia, and I are noted to be the two most handsome men in the peninsular. Curiously, we are both long term ex-military and both achieved the same rank whilst in service. Although we were in the Air Forces of different Nations we still think the same; our thought processes run parallel to each other.

That is part of what we are considering today.

Mindsets.

How do you perceive yourself when you look in the mirror in the morning—every morning?

Do you look in the mirror in the bathroom and have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach?

Notice that the word I used was ‘perceive’. It is your ‘perception’ of yourself that is important here.

Very often, it is my contention, the face you are looking at in the mirror is not the real you. That may seem an odd statement but it is the truth. The person you are staring at is a picture of how you feel.

Many, many times I have addressed my classes and told them that, in order to boost themselves for the day, they should do the following exercise on a daily basis:

1.                  Enter the bathroom and lock the door.

2.                  Remove all your clothes.

3.                  Look into the mirror.

4.                  Say to yourself, “Wow! You are GREAT!”

5.                  Stand back and admire yourself.

6.                  Have a shave, shampoo, shower, clean your teeth and go to work.

7.                  Get dressed.

You may wish to insert ‘7’ into ‘6’.

You will not do this. Why? Because you will be embarrassed.

There is nobody else there in the bathroom with you and yet you will not do it.

Do this every morning. Not just once or twice but every morning. It is the start of a new, confident, you.

Does it matter what you look like?

No. It doesn’t.

Personality will out and that is something that comes from within.

They say that ‘beauty is only skin deep’ and it is partly true. Have you seen what your pet cat looks like without its skin? Quite repulsive, I assure you. Not something you would have on your lap to stroke.

That there is an inner beauty also goes without saying. I know many multi-millionaires who have attracted beautiful young ladies through their masculine inner beauty shining through.

Are those beautiful young ladies able to match that personality?

There’s the rub, as they say. When we say to a young lady (or handsome young man, if you are a lady), “My word, you are stunningly lovely,” you are referring to a physical beauty. This is not love but a form of lust welling up that is telling you that this is a person with whom you could very easily be intimate.

Now think about this.

Nobody wants to be ugly.

There is no person anywhere in the World that sets out with the idea of wanting to repel others by their physical appearance. Yes, there are people out there whose mental manoeuvrings are, possibly, less nimble than the rest of us but for ‘normal’ people the argument holds true.

How many times have you observed some nubile young actress, approached by a TV crew on the red carpet, simper into the microphone, “Oh, yes, thank you. It took so much effort and hard work to look like this.”

Well, alright, they don’t actually say that but the effect is the same.

Beauty, as with ugliness, is genetic. People are unattractive not through their own efforts but by the accident of birth.

How does this affect our mindset?

Because of the culture that we live in, a culture that has existed since time immemorial, we find certain forms attractive. Anyone who falls short of those ‘norms’ is increasingly unattractive.

We are aware that, in College, the ‘Jock’ and the ‘Prom Queen’ (to borrow a couple of Transatlatic words) are people ‘in demand’. Other students will lust after them.

As a result, these are people who may become spoilt. They are accustomed to getting who and what they want. This can lead to arrogance, an aloofness, that may make them seem cold and disinterested in their fellow people.

Those who are unattractive may become bitter, disillusioned or they may become reclusive.

In both cases people should realise that they have other qualities to offer. Qualities that may help them reach out and connect with others.

There is a saying that there is somebody for everyone. Finding that someone may be extremely difficult if you are at each extreme of the ‘beauty scale’; but you can make it easier by accepting yourself first.

Remember the bathroom exercise?

Now add:

8.       Everyone else is worthy, too.