I am often bemused. Bemusement seems to hover around the
edges of my life like a constantly active ethereal being.
Idea sprites live in my head—with the voices, but
bemusement comes from without.
Take the idea of King Kong, for example.
King Kong was huge. Monumental, even. He was incredibly
hairy and he was also, if I might be forgiven for brushing against racism here,
an ape.
On the other hand Howard was indubitably a Duck. Not to
put too fine a point on it Howard was also an alien duck.
What do these two characters, and there are no doubt many
more that could be found, have in common?
They were both in love with a female. A human female. King
Kong, in two of his many guises in sundry remakes, fell for Fay Wray and Naomi
Watts in 1933 and 2005 respectively (Jessica Lange and Jodi Benson were the
other two, by the way, in 1976 and 1998).
Happily, there were never any remakes about Howard the
Duck who was, in spite of being grumpy and arrogant, head over webbed feet with
Beverly Switzer (played by Lea Thompson who also appeared in the ‘Back to the
Future’ series with the redoubtable Michael J Fox and the magnificent
Christopher Lloyd).
There is something I find unsavoury about both these
films. The idea that a creature from another species, even another planet,
should find a human female appealing is, somehow, odd—at best.
I can find nothing to wet my sensual appetites about a
Chimpanzee—no matter how many times some intellectual protagonist of Darwinism
tells me that we are closely related. An Iguana is even more repulsive on the
scale of ‘love items’.
I am painfully aware that there are those who satisfy
their perverted lusts with animals. Shepherds spring instantly to mind in this
respect although I am certain that most Shepherds are completely innocent and
only regard members of their flock as an ingredient in a tasty pie. Even if
they do tell me that sheep have such soft lips.
What is it that makes storytellers cross the genetic
boundaries into this kind of fetishism? What is it that induces publishers and filmmakers
to promote this idea into a product that will be globally distributed as
entertainment?
So the tale goes on. Speaking of tails. Mermaids.
Why does someone who is half a fish fascinate us? We are
led to believe that someone who is, from the waist, or hips, down is Cod but is
also immensely desirable. Agreed that the top half is often depicted as
something that is not only attractive but also glamorous—what are you going to
do with it? Take it home and fry up a pan of chips? You do get my point, don’t
you?
Very well, I’ll put it plain and simple just in case you
are not quite following me here.
How do mermaids breed?
I’ll leave it at that?
There is also a note meandering around the Internet,
primarily on ‘Facebook’ that covers a thought I had when at Sunday school and
was discovering all sorts of new things about the World. These were, not
unnaturally, mainly things to do with girls.
The Vicar told us that Adam and Eve had two sons. One of
those sons was killed by the other one and that, as a consequence, we are all
descended from them
Two sons, eh? Good. And one of those sons is a murderer.
Hmm.
Must get my Bible out and see if there were any alien
ducks around...
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