Magpies and Secrets

In this context we are not referring to the ‘Magpies’ of Newcastle United soccer team, who are also known as the ‘Barcodes’ and ‘Eintracht Neuschloss’, but rather to the real wings, feathers and beaks of real birds.

Magpies appear in a children’s chant:

“One for sorrow

Two for joy

Three for a girl

Four for a boy

Five for silver

Six for gold

Seven for a secret never to be told.”

Magpies, like several of the ‘Crow’ (Corvidae) family, have a penchant for bright shiny things. They steal them and put them in their nests as, presumably, decoration.

Many years ago I was informed that one of my Uncles had ‘lost his marbles’; I suggested that we might look in the nearest Magpie’s nest. I was subsequently treated to looks that could only be described as ‘pitying’.

Why should a secret never be told? Because, once told, it is no longer a secret.

As soon as you tell something to your absolute best friend, with whom you would entrust your life, it is no longer a secret.

Imagine this conversation:

“Promise me that you won’t breathe a word of this to Aunty Doris, Aunty Emily.”

“Of course I won’t, Deary.”

Later:

“Aunty Doris knows all about it! You promised me that you would never tell her!”

“I never did. Not a word.”

“Who did you tell?”

“Aunt Edith, of course. She had to know.”

“Did you tell her not to tell Aunty Doris?”

“Well... er... not exactly...”

So the secret is no more.

It is precisely for this reason that, for me, most conspiracy theories fall down a hole of their own making.

The biggest one is the ‘Roswell’ incident.

How is it possible that so many people have been involved with this site over so many years and yet nothing of any consequence has leaked out?

Stories, yes. Proof? No. Impossible, somebody, somewhere, somehow would have told ‘Aunty Emily’ and even, to prove lack of madness, given something substantial as proof positive.

I view soothsayers and mediums in the same box. How wonderful it would be if a medium contacted Uncle Ted on your behalf and, rather than tell us how blissful he is on the ‘other side’, he told us where the key to his treasure box is. Let’s get hold of Captain Morgan to find out where his buried treasure is. We might even speak to Einstein to get clarification of certain aspects of his theories now that he had knowledge, apparently, of everything.

No. They never tell you anything useful, do they? It is all honey-coated nonsense to soothe the soul with no nutty core.

The same holds for most of these other theories that abound on the Internet. ‘Facebook’ is full of hoaxes, rumours and false allegations; many of them set out to prove some sort of point or belief but many of them are just ‘shared’ or ‘reposted’ out of ignorance.

We have shifted from passing on specious e-mails to propagating false ‘Facebook’ posts.

I have already, on another ‘Blog’, given my views on alien visitation so I shall not bore you with a repeat of that opinion.

What is it that we get out of a ‘Conspiracy Theory’? Why is it that we need to condemn any particular government for spreading falsehoods? How much is Hollywood to blame for inflicting the phrase ‘plausible deniability’ on us so frequently in so many films?

How is it that we are all so eager to soak up the idea that ‘things are being hidden from us’ that we demand transparency? Are we really threatened by these ideas? Is the Government really ‘out to get us’?

I don’t think so. Paranoia is catching, we are at the mercy of it no matter how guarded we are. Somewhere, out there, there is a theory that will grab you, stop you and make you think.

Perhaps it is because you have a mental image that you wish to preserve; a belief or faith that you follow and do not want to see desecrated.

It will get you.

But remember, once it is out there in plain sight it is no longer a secret. If it is not out there then it is still a secret so how did you come to know of it?

Because a friend of a friend knows...

I’m with the Magpies. The feathered ones.

I shall stick to collecting shiny objects to ‘feather’ my nest.

I, personally, favour large denomination currency but a mug of tea will also do very nicely, thank you.