In my last ‘Blog’ I told of a study carried out at some,
now unknown, University to determine the obvious. As many of these studies tend
to do.
I wanted, when I was younger, to get a grant from the UK
Government to find out if fish fart. Something, it seems, they were loath to
give me. Apparently there is no useful end result from it although, to be
honest, it would do me a power of good by setting my mind at rest about the odd
smells from the front room where my fish tank was located.
Some of these studies are useful. There is no doubt that
some are invaluable. They lead to a better life and, in some cases, life itself
for some person that might otherwise have gone without.
Did you know, for example, that if you see a vehicle
approaching with its headlights on—in daylight or at night, then you would be
unable to make out a distinct outline? Obvious? Yes, of course. What you
possibly do not realise is that, according to a study, you will be unable to
determine, even approximately, its speed as it approaches you.
This is a very important fact if you are a motorcyclist or
a driver at a junction observing the approach of a motorcycle with its
headlight on.
In a similar fashion, another study showed that young
children under the age of twelve (12) are unable, through lack of experience,
to judge the speed of oncoming traffic with or without the headlights on. This
will tell you that you should never send a child under twelve to the shops to
buy your cocai... cigarettes.
Around thirty years ago the German Government understood,
from reports and studies, that petrol engines were killing the environment.
You may, or may not, know that the German Government is
really ‘Green’. Putting salt on the roads in winter is punishable by death;
hitting a tree in your brand new Citroen makes you liable to a heavy fine even
if your Citroen is a write-off and the insurance company won’t pay up because
you should not have been driving a French car on ice.
I digress.
As a result of this advice, the Germans put a levy on
petrol but discounted diesel fuel prices. They also gave generous discounts to
those purchasing German diesel cars. This is in spite of the fact, as everyone
knows, that the French Company, Peugeot, make the best diesel engines in the
World. Of course, their cars are not so great but the engines are marvellous.
I digress again. Sorry.
So the German people rose up as one, sold their petrol-engined
cars and bought diesels.
Then, another study from elsewhere in Germany discovered
that diesel emissions cause cancer. ‘Krebs’
in the vernacular.
Oh, dear.
The German people rose up as one and sold off their diesel
cars for which the discounts and subsidies had now disappeared in order to buy
petrol-engined cars.
There was now a glut of diesel cars in the German
second-hand showrooms. Most of which the dealers despaired of ever getting rid
of.
Enter—moi!
Looking for a replacement for a decrepit Opel Rekord 2.0
Litre fastback I chanced upon a rather nice looking Mercedes 300D saloon. It
was, in truth, covered in leaves, bird droppings and stuff but, otherwise, it
was pretty sound.
I took it to the local Mercedes dealer in Duisberg to get
a review of it and, apart from a few very minor things, he pronounced it to be
in good condition.
My bank manager in UK said, “How much? Get me one!” as he
deposited the cash in my account.
It was a delight to drive. It ‘boomed’ a little inside at
ninety miles per hour but otherwise it was wonderful.
And now, dear hearts, if you go back two ‘Blogs’ you will
see reference to this Mercedes 300D saloon in the great rescue adventure.
Now you know how it came about that I was the proud
possessor of such a great machine.
Until I rolled it seven times at Pitlochry in Scotland.
But that, my lovelies, is another story.
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