Perplexity

 If we refer to the above picture of the Western Pacific Ocean we shall see an oddity that perplexes me.

It is the International Dateline.

I can cope with most ideas, hypotheses and theories in some form or an other—indeed I have several ideas of my own about sundry items about which we have already shared time together.

This one leaves me cold. This one is the creator of a kind of vortex in my head that sucks everything else down with it and leaves me agape and numb.

Let’s start with this.

We are told, every year, that the people of the North Island in New Zealand are the first to welcome in the New Year.

Yes, yes! I’m sorry to harp on, seemingly endlessly, about this New Year business but bear with me, please; I am becoming mentally inert.

According to this diagram of the International Dateline it must be that the first people to welcome in the New Year are those lovely people who reside in the Kiribati Archipelago. Then celebrations will occur in Tokelau, Samoa and then, at about the same time, between New Zealand and Fiji.

Are we happy with that? Or not?

Now look at American Samoa. They are located about an hour West of Kiribati. This means that they will greet the New Year twenty-five hours later. They will be the last people to be in the Old Year.

Have you grasped what this means? It means that their children will not be able to open their Christmas presents until twenty-five hours after the Children on Kiribati.

How fair is that?

If they hop on a boat, or something, and nip over to Kiribati they will be able to open their Christmas presents early—they could be the first children in the World to open their presents; and then they could nip back to American Samoa and have Christmas all over again with fresh presents twenty-five hours later.

How ‘cool’ is that?

This is almost time travel, isn’t it? No special equipment necessary, no rocket ships, and you can skip back a year. Well, just over a day but, when it comes to New Year...

While the necessity for some sort of International dateline existing is self-evident one wonders at the irregularities in its shape.

Why could it not have been straight? Or nearly straight. Perhaps the thin end of the wedge occurred due to some political twist up at the Aleutian Islands due to the need to make some reality programmes involving crabs up there.

But why did this wiggling need to be continued down into the Pacific?

It has more curves than Carla Gugino racing to Witch Mountain in a camper wagon!

Perhaps next year we should all meet in American Samoa. Then we can spend all night and day celebrating with everyone else welcoming in the New Year before we get down to the serious business of celebrating 2015 ourselves twenty five hours later.