Young Writing Talent

I am so happy that talent in the young is not dead!

This story was written by a young lady of only thirteen years. English is not her first language, which makes this effort even more remarkable. 

It is to be hoped that her imagination is not squashed by the ‘education system’ that requires everyone to think, act and speak the same.

As an explanation, the rest of the story – three chapters, is equally good but she abandoned it because she ran out of ideas to continue and because she felt that it was not good enough. One wonders by whose standards this idea of being inadequate was suggested?

Several times I have mentioned that the only way to progress with any art or skill is to practice, practice and then practice some more. There are no baby steps here. Write what makes you happy, what you are comfortable with and what you know.

This effort is impressive – to me and by my own standards. This talent should be encouraged and allowed to grow.

Prologue

I felt a cold breeze brushing my skin. My eyes fluttered open. I was in a dark forest, lying on the damp, freezing ground. I sat up, looking around, confused, wondering how I got here. I remembered that I went to sleep wrapped up in my soft blanket and surrounded by pillows on my cosy queen-sized bed. Pine trees were scattered around everywhere, towering above my head. The air smells like moist earth mixed with old fallen leaves and pine. The cold breeze blew my hair from my face, sending chills down my spine. I curled up into a ball, hugging my knees while trying to cover my naked legs using my thin nightgown. 

        Everything was dark and scary.  The wind played with the leaves on the ground, swirling them around slowly. The sound of owls hooting filled my ears. I flinched when I felt a cold touch on my bare shoulders. I scanned the place, but there was nothing to be seen. From a distance, I heard an eerie scream. I started trembling, breaking into cold sweat. I scooted backwards, leaning against a tree, feeling insecure. I stared at a bush about three meters in front of me, sensing movement from the bush. A pair of glowing red eyes glared back at me from the bush.

Suddenly, my back was slammed to the tree by a strong force pulling me from behind, wrapping my arms around the tree and tying my wrists tightly together. I struggled to set myself free, squirming and wriggling while shouting for help, tears streaming down my face. A cold hand roughly covered my mouth. I tried biting the hand, but it didn't budge. "Jamie....", a voice that was barely audible whispered my name in my ear softly, sending shivers down my spine. I froze in place. My mouth was covered with a cloth to keep me from shouting. A man appeared out of nowhere, wearing all black with snow-white skin and coal-black hair approached me. His blood red eyes glared at me. He crouched down next to me, eyeing me from head to toe. I couldn't see much of his facial features since his mouth and nose were covered with a black bandana. 

"What's the point of shouting and screaming like a helpless child when no one can hear you, hmm?" he chuckled mockingly. I stomped my foot around in anger, glaring towards him.

‘How does he know my name?’I thought.

"Little girl, it doesn't matter how I got to know your name. The only thing that matters now is that I could finally eat after a long time...," he growled. My eyes went wide; I guess he could read my mind. Tears streamed down my face like a waterfall. I tried to struggle but somehow, I couldn't move. It felt as if I was glued to the spot. I started trembling, hoping that this nightmare would end soon. He leaned in closer towards my neck while taking off the bandana that covered his mouth, giving me a glimpse of his growing fangs. I felt his cold breath fanning my neck. I closed my eyes tight - scared to death.  I felt his sharp fangs sinking into my flesh, blood oozing out. My mind went blank as I whimpered helplessly, crying, the pain rising up to my head.

‘Please, stop… It hurts, please...,’ I pleaded silently in my mind. But the man didn't seem to care. I started growing weaker by the second as blood flowed out from my neck.

All of a sudden, the man that was sucking my blood dry was pulled away from me. I opened my eyes slightly, but everything was blurry. My head spun like a top. Everything around me started to fade away. My body felt numb. The last thing I heard was faint punching and growling sounds. Then, I blacked out… 

By Raudhah

2018

There are small details that could be tidied up but, at her age, they are irrelevant to the story.

Keep at it. You could be the next generation of Stephen King, et al.