To the Lord Mayor of London: a Message

Just recently the Lord Mayor of London posted this on ‘Twitter’. It was ‘reTweeted’ by JK Rowling:

“Sajid Javid has been the target of vile abuse online. Britain's diversity is part of what makes us great. We must not allow ourselves to be divided by hate speech. Attacking & intimidating people because of race, religion, sexuality, gender or disability must not be tolerated.”

To which I replied:

“I concur absolutely with this sentiment. Now tell a certain religious group descended from a certain area in the sub-continent the same.”

Because, it seems to me, that this type of discrimination only flows one way.

We have noticed, just very recently, that there are comedians – a comedienne, in this case, who have been reviled for doing the job that she was paid to do.

The pro-Trump lobby have said that her performance was disgraceful and the anti-Trump lobby have said it was gifted.

Personally, I thought that what she said was funny. It was, after all, a roast. Comedic roasts are designed to mock the person who is at the core of the jokes.

Other comedians, like Russell Peters, have a go at everyone. They are situational, or observational, comics and very funny he, and they, is.

Lee Evans is another situational comic after the fashion of Norman Wisdom who was all action on stage – a physical humour.

Others deliver one-liners, others offer self-mockery. The master of the latter type was the late, and very great, Tommy Cooper.

Regardless of their type of humour someone is going to suffer at their hands. It might be Mother-in-Law jokes or jokes about other races but someone will be the butt of that humour.

Russell Peters says that he does not make jokes about Arabs because he “doesn’t want to die” and then proceeds to make jokes about Arabs. Funny man.

The thing about it is that it is humour. These are jokes. People understand that – or should. Even Jimmy Carr saying, “Big road sign just before a school saying ‘Slow Children’ is not very nice, is it? On the plus side, they won’t understand it.” It’s a dig at children with learning disabilities but it is still humour. We understand that and we laugh.

We do not regard it as racist or divisive under the terms of colour or religion or disabilities

Now I shall tell you three true stories, the first two occurred in the Masjid (Mosque) in Dundee:

After Friday prayers there appeared to be another prayer meeting in a side room. I asked my colleague what it was all about.

“They are giving thanks for having the atomic bomb,” he told me.

I was aghast. 

“They cannot do that – it is un-Islamic,” I replied, “You cannot thank God for a weapon of mass destruction that will kill innocents en masse!”

“I agree,” he nodded, “You tell them.”

An Indian company arrived in Dundee to film some shots for a Bollywood movie there.

A section of the Mosque prepared, in the Mosque, to have a demonstration against ‘the enemy’.

I pointed out that they are no longer the enemy. We are in Britain. India is not an enemy of Britain.

They had their demonstration.

In the grocery store run by a fine fellow called Faiz, we were discussing the World when a young man with a strong Scottish accent entered.

“Hello. Where are you from,” I asked him – expecting to be told of a district in or around Dundee.

“My home town is Lahore,” he said enthusiastically.

I was a little stunned, “When did you arrive here in UK?”

He looked at me a little oddly, “I didn’t.”

“When were you last there, then?” I pressed him.

“I’ve never been,” he looked puzzled.

“But your parents were born there, perhaps?”

“My parents were born here – in Dundee.”

“So if your parents were born here and you were born here and you have never been to Lahore then you are British – Scottish, in fact. Your hometown is Dundee not Lahore. You have had all the benefits of a British education, health service, and social services and yet you are so ungrateful that you have decided that your hometown is Lahore.”

He adopted an angered expression and walked out.

I wonder what he went into the shop to buy.

Faiz just shook his head, “These youngsters are listening to the wrong people.”

I have to agree with him. He did not learn this all on his own.

And that, Sadiq Khan, is why I responded to your ‘Tweet’ as I did.

And that, Sadiq Khan, is why this discrimination only works in one direction.

And that, Sadi Khan, is why you need to address the problems in your own community and the Immigrant communities so that we can all work together under one flag as one people with diverse colours and religions and abilities.

Comedians are one thing but real life is another.