Closet Claustrophobic

If you were a closet claustrophobic or, perhaps, agoraphobia was your field how would you go about getting help?

So we make jokes. We poke fun at people who have fears that are, to them, real.

Arachnophobia, the fear of spiders, is common. It is the subject of much humour. But not to the people who have it.

Making remarks like, “They are so small and harmless,” does not help.

They have the fear in them.

I was told to face my fears, to stand up to them. They will become smaller until, at last, they will fade away into nothing.

It didn’t work.

We went to Weston on the Green where we were taught how to throw ourselves from a perfectly serviceable aeroplane and float gently down underneath a large blossom of silk that would, they assured us, open in plenty of time to save us.

We were taught how to land without breaking our legs or spines.

Unfortunately, for me, the worst part in the beginning was going up to the tower for the practice jumps.

At that stage I had not realised that heights and me are something that do not mix well.

Looking down from the tower was impossible.

Second stage was a tethered balloon. No. Look up. Do not look down or the terror will get you.

The last part was to be jumps from a De Havilland Dragon Rapide aeroplane. It is a kind of twin engine Tiger Moth with brakes!

When they told me it had brakes I was somewhat bemused because I failed to see how brakes would help slow it down in the air.

Dragon Rapide

The aeroplane trundled down the ‘runway’ that was, in reality, part of a grass field and clawed its way into the air.

Peering out of the window was no problem; I had flown in all sorts of aircraft up to that point and never had any trouble with heights.

It seemed that the trouble lay in the idea that being perched atop something that was ostensibly part of the ground felt, somehow, insecure.

Then we came to jumping out.

I was almost paralysed in fear. Being in the aircraft was fine. Leaving it was an entirely different matter!

Having landed safely on terra firma I consoled myself that his was first time nerves. Next time would be much better.

It was not.

It was worse.

There were no more leaps from aeroplanes after that.

We went, a few of us, to Blackpool. We had not been there before so we were anxious to see the fun that was to be had there. It was, and still is, a hot family holiday spot for many people from the North of England.

Night drew in. We found a kind couple who allowed us to sleep on the floor of their house. In the morning thy left breakfast on the table and departed for work leaving us to lock up. How trusting.

Day two. We went up Blackpool Tower for the view. I went up Blackpool tower for the vertigo and the quickest, non-lethal, way down!

Blackpool Tower

After that I managed to avoid heights for many years until, about ten years ago, I was persuaded by Beloved and Son of Mine, to go up the cable car at Langkawi.

I had been in a cable car (seilbahn) at Rudesheim in Germany. That one had barely skimmed the grapevines so had been a nervous but acceptable trip.

Rudesheim

A cable car is a cable car, right? What could possibly go wrong?

The Langkawi cable car is much higher. Much higher. Enough, potentially, to make your nose bleed! Well… maybe not that but to me…

I was reduced to jelly. A quivering mass that had to be assisted down on the next available car.

Cable Car, Langkawi 

No more. I have been offered sensible suggestions on how to defeat this terror.

Do not bother.

A phobia is an extreme, irrational fear of… something.

Note: ‘irrational’!

Claustrophobia is an extreme, irrational fear of Christmas. There is no getting over it!