Spitting and Sport

For most of my life I have seen no point in spitting. Anywhere. At any time.

I have wondered, even as a youngster, why people, men mostly, do it?

Is it manly? Does it make them feel more ‘macho’? What is the purpose? What is the point of it?

Right now you are, quite possibly, asking if I am some sort of soft, gentle person who knits his own dresses.

You should know that I have boxed, played rugby, cricket, football (badly!) and been an excellent football (‘soccer’ in the USA) referee.

At no time during any of these sports have I felt the need to spit. The need to do so still perplexes me.

I watch footballers celebrating scoring a goal by sliding effortlessly along on the grass in a kneeling position and wonder what it is that lubricates their slithering. Can it be, I ask myself, that there is a layer of mucus coating the turf?

The question of expectorating on a sports field came strongly into my head when, quite recently, I was watching a game of cricket, not involving cheaters, when – heaven forfend, an Umpire cleared his throat to the side of the wicket at which he stood! A cricket Umpire! A man who is exalted above all others. A figure of decency, fair play and moral rectitude! Spat. On the wicket!

The World, I thought, is about to end. Things can get no worse than this.

There was a time when you never saw Rugby Football players spitting. They bled copiously all over the pitch but spit? Never! It just wasn’t done. Not the thing, old chap!

Now? They are all at it.

They are all about cheating, too. How did this happen? It is, whatever else it might be, a game – a sport. There was no need to cheat. You won or you lost by your own merits, or lack of!

Cheating was reserved for Olympic athletes whose determination to win Gold would be driven to any means possible. This included taking proscribed substances.

Now? They are all at it.

Footballers use ‘professional fouls’, as they are euphemistically termed, frequently. They fall down and appeal to the referee for a foul against them.

It happens in all sports. Even cricket. Ball tampering has always been a major problem - it is against the rules. It is seeking to gain an unfair advantage over the opposition.

No doubt there are cheats in equestrian sport just as there are in golf.

This is not just about money – although there is no doubt that there are large sums of cash involved in most sports these days. Rugby football tried, for many years, to ‘keep it clean’ by having amateurs play Rugby Union and professionals were restricted to Rugby League. That fell apart when the Union players started receiving under the table cash and the ‘Powers-That-Be’ knuckled under and allowed Union players to receive cash benefits.

Now cheating is ubiquitous. Sad to say. Even in our beloved cricket there is cheating.

But they never used to spit.